How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Some conversations hit you right where you stand. Others linger, leaving you thinking about them long after they’re over.

A wise woman once said in passing, “We can’t keep denying ourselves the mercy we give to others.”

And it stuck with me.

As women, we often carry a lot.

We push.
We’re tough.
We’re resilient.
We’ve got it.

We give beyond what we have while people continue to take.

We give because we are living examples of mercy. We want to be helpful. We want to show grace. We want to do what is right. But when we give and give, eventually, it begins to take a toll on us. So what happens when extending mercy to others means denying ourselves that same mercy?

In other words:

I can be helpful, but at some point, that help can come at a cost to me.

And this isn't about obedience to God or doing what is right. I’m talking about those moments when you feel guilted, shamed, or obligated to do something that isn't right for you simply because you're trying to do something good for someone else.

Especially as Christian women, it can be easy to get caught up in doing the “Christian thing” and offering grace.

And unfortunately, there are people who will use your faith to their advantage.

But God did not call you to be obedient to every request made of you.

He didn’t call you to assist to the detriment of yourself.

He didn’t call you to serve from a place that leaves you filled with resentment.

Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is recognize that you have reached your limit.

There comes a time when the help and goodwill you so freely give needs to come back to you.

Give grace to yourself.

Give mercy to yourself.

Give help to yourself.

Give your mental and emotional self the rest it needs.

You are allowed to acknowledge when something is too much.

You are allowed to say no without explaining yourself into exhaustion.

You are allowed to have boundaries without believing that they make you less loving, less generous, or less Christian.

You are not people’s savior. God is.

And the mercy you so freely give to others?

Feel free to save some for yourself now.

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