The many faces of forgiveness: healing through faith and letting go

Forgiveness is daunting.

If you’ve never experienced a major betrayal, it can be hard to understand why forgiveness feels so difficult for others. But deep letdowns create deep wounds, and those aren’t always easy to let go of.

As Christians, we often paint forgiveness in an overly positive light. Since we’ve been forgiven for so much, it can feel like forgiveness should come naturally. And if it doesn’t, we’re told we’re sinning. On top of that, we’re expected not to complain when others take advantage of us.

The truth is, forgiveness can be hard. But it’s not impossible. Over time, I’ve discovered that there are three types of forgiveness we must walk through if we want to live free from the pain of our past.

Forgiving Others: Reclaim Your Power

Whoever “them” is no longer has power over you. Hopefully, you’ve left that space behind and are walking into a new season. But even when you’ve moved on physically, the wrongs done to you can still linger in your mind. Sometimes quietly, and sometimes persistently.

As tempting as it is to want revenge, true freedom comes when you release them. Forgiveness doesn’t mean they “got away with it.” It means you’re taking your power back and refusing to let what they did control your present or your future.

Release them for the lies.
Release them for the pain.
Release them for the betrayal.

Forgiveness is a release from your mind, heart, and space and into the hands of God to deal with.

Forgiving Yourself: Extending Grace

One of the hardest challenges I faced was forgiving myself. I felt like I had failed myself. I had ignored red flags, made poor choices, and was now living with the consequences.

But being hard on yourself doesn’t make today any better. Instead, extend the same grace to yourself that you’ve given to others. Remember: you did the best you could with the knowledge and perspective you had at the time.

Yes, some choices didn’t work out the way you hoped. But that doesn’t make you a failure. Learn from the experience, carry the wisdom forward, and stop clinging to the past.

Replaying your mistakes does nothing to change what has already occurred. Instead, leave the baggage of self condemnation, and open yourself up to the freedom of your new possibilities by learning from the past and being wiser for it.

Forgiving God: Finding Peace in Faith

If forgiving myself was hard, forgiving God was even harder—because I didn’t want to admit I felt that way.

Before you get all churchy on me and exit this blog, stay with me.

I love God.
I trust God.
I know He carried me even when I was at my lowest.

But in my heart, I also wrestled with questions: Why didn’t He warn me sooner? Why didn’t He make the signs clearer? Why didn’t He send help faster?

What I’ve come to realize is this: God was kind. He did reveal things, but I overlooked some of them. And even in my pain, He was shaping me for purpose. The lessons I learned in my darkest seasons are now equipping me to help others. Somewhere, there’s someone who, because of my story, I’ll be able to reach in a way someone else never could.

And the same is true for you.

There can be purpose in pain. And sometimes, there just aren’t clear answers on this side of heaven. We may not understand everything now, but in time, we will. And until then, getting back on the track of trusting God completely is the only thing that’s going to bring me true peace. 

Living Free Through Forgiveness

No matter who you need to forgive, whether it’s them, yourself, or even those angry feelings towards God, remember this: forgiveness is the key to freedom. It breaks the chains of resentment and releases the crushing weight of pain.

So release them.
Release yourself.
Release God from the blame you’ve been holding onto.

Step into your now.
Step into your freedom.
Step into the fullness of who you were created to be.

Share Your Thoughts

Which type of forgiveness do you struggle with most? Share your thoughts below or share this post with someone who needs a reminder that freedom begins with forgiveness.

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